Burnout isn’t a switch that suddenly flips. For me, it has always been more like a shadow, a slow burn that intensifies until it’s all-consuming.
I’ve dealt with it my entire life—from my over-committed high school days to navigating my company through global crises. It’s a pattern I’ve had to learn to recognize, confront, and actively manage.
A recent newsletter I read laid out the triggers for burnout so clearly, and it inspired me to share my own journey in the hopes that it might resonate.
Table of Contents
The Early Signs
My first real encounter with the burnout shadow was in high school.
On the surface, I was a high-achieving kid: juggling preparatory school, a demanding theatre schedule, and a job as a server at a seafood restaurant, all while prepping for college. But underneath, the cracks were showing. I had trouble sleeping, often waking up from “night terrors” where I was just re-living the stress of my day. My appetite disappeared.
Back then, there wasn’t a name for it. The culture was to “white-knuckle it”—to just push through at all costs. It wasn’t seen as having too much on my plate; it was just life. I learned to ignore the signals my body was sending me, a habit that would follow me into adulthood with much higher stakes.
The Pattern Repeats
As I built my company, that same pattern of pushing past the limit re-emerged during intense periods. The 2008 financial crisis was one. Drastic Google algorithm changes that threatened our business were another. The most intense was during COVID, when I was navigating a divorce and the complete shutdown of our industry.
During these times, my old symptoms returned, but amplified. The stress became so physical that my back would give out—a painfully literal metaphor for trying to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. When I couldn’t even rely on exercise, my main coping mechanism, I felt truly trapped.
My godfather, who is an expert in palm reading (and about to publish a book about it), once looked at my palms and told me I have a propensity for “People Pleasing”. It’s the tendency to want to save everything and everyone, to burn myself out for what I believe is the greater good. That resonated deeply. I was constantly putting the company, my team, and my responsibilities before my own wellbeing, and my body was paying the price.
The Triggers
That newsletter I mentioned identified several triggers for burnout, but two, in particular, stood out from my own experience:
- Lack of Control: This is the big one for me. During the financial crisis or when facing those algorithm changes, the feeling of powerlessness was immense. My reaction was to try and regain control by micromanaging and pushing everyone harder, which I now realize only amplified the stress for the entire team.
- Toxic Work Environment: I’ve learned the hard way that one or two “energy vampires” on a team can poison the well for everyone. In the past, I might have kept someone on too long because they were a high performer, ignoring the toxic undercurrent they created through gossip or negativity. That toxicity is a direct line to team-wide burnout.
Flipping the Pyramid
The most crucial shift in my approach came from rethinking my priorities. I used to operate on a pyramid where Work was the massive, heavy base. Stacked on top of that was Family, then Friends, and at the very tiny, unstable peak was Me. My wellbeing was an afterthought, the first thing to be sacrificed.
I had to flip the pyramid.
Now, the base is Me. It’s not selfish; it’s sustainable. This base is built on four pillars: my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. From that strong foundation, I can support the next level, my Family and Relationships, and from there, my Work and my impact on the world. When you have a solid base, you can weather the storms without the whole structure collapsing.
Practice of Staying Well
A vacation won’t cure burnout. It’s a temporary reprieve from a systemic issue. True resilience is built through a disciplined, daily personal practice.
For me, that means:
- Meditation, Breathwork, and Yoga: These aren’t just things I do when I’m stressed; they are non-negotiable parts of my daily routine to keep me centered.
- Journaling: It’s a vital tool for processing thoughts and maintaining clarity.
- Healthy Habits: Prioritizing sleep and nutrition is fundamental. It’s the fuel that makes everything else possible.
- Leading by Example: Because I’ve been there, I’m hyper-aware of the risk of burnout in my partners and team. I check in, I encourage autonomy over micromanagement, and I work to foster a culture of transparency and psychological safety. I give my team the space to explore ideas and even fail, because that trust is the antidote to a culture of fear and control.
Conclusion
Burnout is not a failure; it’s a signal. It’s your body and mind telling you that the way you’re operating is no longer sustainable.
By listening to those signals, understanding your triggers, and intentionally building a life with your own wellbeing at its foundation, you can move from just surviving to truly thriving.
